Parenting comes with countless responsibilities. From being a driver to a doctor, an advisor to a school counselor, parents wear many hats. But one role stands out as non-negotiable: being the gatekeeper.
“Parents, especially dads, need to step up and set boundaries,” said Pastor Joel Cheliah, a former kids pastor with nine years of experience. “It’s not an easy job, but it’s crucial.”
Joel shared that his journey into parenting was humbling. “I thought I knew everything about kids before I had them. I used to give advice to parents as a kids pastor. Then we had our first child who broke every rule and pushed every boundary,” he said with a laugh.
What Does It Mean to Be a Gatekeeper?
Joel drew inspiration from the book of Exodus, where parents were instructed to mark their homes with lamb’s blood as a boundary against harm. “As parents, we set the boundaries for what enters our homes,” Joel explained. “It doesn’t matter if you’re the fun dad or the cool dad. You still have a responsibility to protect your family.”
Challenges Dads Face
Being the gatekeeper isn’t always met with applause. “You’ll hear things like ‘I hate you’ or ‘Everyone else’s parents let them do it,’” Joel admitted. “But every parent hears that. It’s tough, but it’s your God-given authority, and your kids will thank you later.”
Joel reflected on his own children, now aged 21, 19, and 17. “They actually thank us now for the boundaries we set, especially when they see friends who struggled because their parents didn’t,” he said.
Practical Tips for Parents
For those wondering where to start, Joel offered practical advice. “We monitored the music our kids listened to. If they broke the rules, there were consequences,” he shared.
Phone usage was another area. “We checked their phones and didn’t allow phones in their rooms overnight when they were younger,” Joel said.
He also emphasised the importance of knowing your kids’ friends. “We encouraged friendships we approved of and made alternative plans when we weren’t comfortable,” he added.
Parenting is challenging, but being the gatekeeper is essential. As Joel put it, “You’ve got to protect the gate.”
Listen to the full conversation below!