Pastor Phil Ayres from Kingdomcity Church joined Bec and Asa to share his top tips for first dates. Whether you’re excited or nervous, these do’s and don’ts will help you navigate the dating scene with confidence.
1. Start with a Group Date
Pastor Phil suggests starting with a group date, especially if you met online. “It’s good to start with others. Don’t just go alone,” he advises. This way, if the connection isn’t there, you can still have a fun night with friends. Plus, your friends can help you gauge if the person fits your vibe. But what if bringing friends feels intimidating? Pastor Phil says it’s all about how you frame it. “Make it casual. Say, ‘Hey, would you like to join me and my friends?’ It removes the pressure and makes it more relational.”
2. Be Yourself
Nervous about being yourself? Pastor Phil reminds us, “Ultimately, the person who’s right for you will like you for who you are.” He encourages daters to relax and let their true self shine. “Don’t try to be someone else. It’s too hard to keep that up.” Instead of wondering if your date likes you, ask yourself, “Are they compatible with me?” First dates are for getting to know each other beyond surface-level fun.
3. Take It Slow
A big don’t? Rushing into physical intimacy. Pastor Phil warns, “You have no clue who this person is yet. Treat them with respect. Imagine they could be connected to someone important in your future.” Leave every relationship with honor and respect. Physical chemistry is just one part of intimacy. Pastor Phil highlights the importance of emotional, spiritual, and value-based connections. “There needs to be wholeness in the connection for it to grow.”
4. Watch out for Red Flags
Red flags are easy to overlook when attraction takes over. “Don’t ignore them,” Pastor Phil stresses. Talk to someone you trust after your date to get an outside perspective.
5. Make It About Them Too
Finally, don’t make the date all about you. Pastor Phil says, “Dating is about giving and caring for another person.” If your date is self-centered, be sensitive to that, but focus on creating a mutual connection.
Listen to the full conversation below.