Lockie from Arvos sat with author Roxanna Gonzalez to talk about her book, My Father Found Me. Roxanna began by detailing the inspiration behind the book.
“I’ve been unwell for sometime. Through the process of pain, God was showing me to start writing.”
Leaving a Legacy
Roxanna said, she began writing the book initially to leave a legacy for her girls because she didn’t know how long she had left. In 2020, after COVID, Roxanna developed a heart condition that was worsening with time.
“I had to go to the cardiologist. They diagnosed me with myocarditis, that is the inflammation of the wall of the heart and also with pericarditis, whereas when your heart also is swollen.”
She had difficulties breathing, putting on clothes and showering. It caused her to feel like maybe it was her time.
Prompted to Write
“Then I felt like God put that in my heart to write, what my experience is to my girls. But then when I was writing, I really felt like prompt maybe other people can be blessed by my experience and have been through.”
The memoir component of this book speaks to her life growing up with a single mum. Though she was born into a Christian family, the absence of her father had a hold on her from a young age.
“I struggled to believe in myself. I felt like I didn’t fit in properly. It wasn’t that normal to be without a dad and it brought a lot of insecurity,” she said.
“I didn’t know, that God really loved me or who loved me. And I was walking around with that emptiness.”
Her book details the story of how God rescued her, fathered her and showed Roxanna what a true father is.
Fatherhood in all Forms
“He also did something amazing,” said Roxanna. “He helped me meet my dad after 37 years.”
Roxanna said she never stopped praying for her dad, but gave up hope that she would one day meet him.
“God had other plans,” she said. “No matter what you’re going through, no matter how far you think you’ve gone, it doesn’t even really matter if you believe in God or not, He’s there.”
Purposeful Joy
When Roxanna opened her heart, she said it is when she found her purpose. It was joy.
“I could walk differently. I feel like now I didn’t need anyone to reassure me or affirm me. I knew exactly who I was because God revealed that value to me.”
Her process came down to communicating this journey to her young girls.
“Maybe when they feel low or are struggling with their faith and purpose, they can see what I went through and relate to it because it happened to someone close to them.”
She put the chaos of her mind to paper and in that time, felt God tell her to start from the beginning.
“I think this is what God wants to bring back to, you know, a reminder to society that, you know, you’re looking and seeking for something that’s already there. You were designed.”
The Shape of the Story
Roxanna designed her book to be easy to read with short chapters and reflective questions.
For those doing it tough, Roxanna had encouraging words.
God said to me when I was in a really deep depression, when I was around 19 years old, and he said, ‘After the storm, it’s always the sunshine.’ When you go through the storm, you feel like it’s going to last forever. But God has given us a promise that even if you don’t believe in God, it’s a promise. And then promises has to be fulfilled.”
“If you go through pain, you can choose have the right attitude.”
“When you have that perspective, I find that you discover what joy, true joy is. The sunshine is coming. It’s a promise.”
Check out the full chat with Roxanna Gonzalez below.