Motivational Speaker Jason Blyth joined Doug on Mornings to talk about the battle for self-worth.
Jason began by discussing the inspiration he drew from watching “House of David”, which follows the journey of King David in the bible.
House of David
“It’s the story of King David’s journey from being shepherd boy to go on to be the king of this powerful nation of Israel. But there was a specific scene in it that really caught my attention and it resonated deeply because I genuinely think this is probably a battle at the heart of all of us that’s here on earth, is to find our own self-worth.”
Jason described a scene where King Saul (David’s predecessor) is dealing with his wayward children.
“Mirav says, ‘I knew the bad things were going to happen to me. I always stuff things up,’ Then her brother looks her dead in the eye and he goes, ‘Why do you talk about yourself like that? Maybe the reason why our other brother and sister get exactly what they want is because they believe they’re worthy of it. Well, we always get bad things because we believe we’re worthy of that.'”
Jason said this story resonated with his journey, where he spent most of his life under the belief that he was worth nothing.
“So of course, I perpetuated that belief into my life. At a certain point, I came to have to choose a different path and decide for myself that no one was going to define my worth because they can’t. It had to be up to me.”
What Forms Identity
Jason outlined that a person’s identity can come down to environmental factors, such as bad relationships and our family life.
“It’s like a tree that’s growing in rotten soil, it can’t produce good fruit. That’s a toxic environment that can taint the way that we see ourselves.”
Educators may also misread the signs of a student and assume their intelligence. It could also be general experiences, according to Jason.
“It becomes a piling of all of these little seeds that get sown into us over time that can start to rot us from the inside out to make us believe it. People also don’t always treat us with the respect that we deserve.”
A Person’s Value
This can snowball into how a person treats themselves, through mental and physical needs as well as spiritual health. It trickles into workplaces and our level of tolerance in relationships, which Jason said is a reflection of the value that we hold in ourselves.
Self-Sabotage
Humanity is prone to seeing someone outside of us as holding greater value.
“Of course, we do inherently have great value,” said Jason, “We’re made in the image of God. It’s a fine line of being able to treat other people with the dignity and respect, with the worth that they deserve, but also being able to have equal weights and measures, holding ourselves to a certain value.”
The Turning Point
Jason hit rock bottom in rehab on his 30th birthday. He had the best intentions and yet his life was not where he wanted it to be.
“I’d been waiting my entire life for some mystical hero to come and save me. I’d ended up in this place where I realized if I carried on down the path, it was either prison or dead, and I didn’t like either of those two options.”
Enough is Enough
His only choice was to change.
“Nobody was coming to save me. I had to pull myself out of this hole. The turning point was saying to myself, ‘Enough is enough.'”
“There was a huge chasm between those two things. So I started the process of rebuilding my life to get it to where I believed it should be. And my life has categorically changed, looks very different now. I praise God for having a second chance at life.”
Practical Steps
A practical step in moving forward to discover our self-worth is taking inventory of how our life looks.
“There are big pillars in our life around finances and relationships, purpose and mental and physical health.”
Jason said that by looking at what is controlling us out of those things, we can find opportunities to grow and develop.
“If we look at our mental health, like for me, I really struggled with depression and anxiety doubting if my life had worth. For a long time, I normalised it, but at a certain point, I stopped and realised I don’t have to feel like this. I shouldn’t have to feel like this. It’s not normal to be feeling mentally unwell and depressed and anxious all the time.”
Jason’s addiction controlled his life in so many ways, from chain-smoking cigarettes, to using drugs, drinking alcohol to excess, anything that was addictive.
“I realized that all these different areas of my life, which were contrary to being healthy, were controlling me. One by one, I started to reclaim the ground by eliminating those things, because I decided that if I believed I had worth, those things could no longer be in my life.”
Daily Habits
The standards we hold ourselves to are reflected in daily habits.
“We can often treat other people far better than we do ourselves and that comes down to accountability.”
Discipline is also a key aspect of a healthy everyday life.
“Do we have a disciplined and diligent exercise routine or is it something that we are really haphazard about how well we treat ourselves? Because again, that’s those there are the signs to me of whether or not someone is valuing their health and their fitness as a priority,” said Jason.
Is a Leader Born or Made?
A leader is built from a person who makes choices that are not defined by the world’s view of them.
“The power of being able to take our indentity back and make choices, reclaiming the pen and putting activities and practices through discipline in our daily lives that can help us re-establish our worth.”
“For a long time, I just accepted that I was going to be depressed or I would have to be anxious or that I wouldn’t even value having being alive, you know, that my life didn’t hold any intrinsic value.”
Jason said that living in the reality of doubting his worth made it difficult to fight for any sort of alternative.
“God puts a huge amount of worth on our lives, but fundamentally, it’s for us to fight for. This is the gift that I’m trying to put into the hands of people.”
Body Swap
Jason brought up a poignant example he had read about to illustrate how we would treat ourselves if we were given a unique opportunity.
“If you could swap bodies with the person that you loved the most in the world for 12 months, how would you treat their body and their mind knowing that you were going to give it back to them in a year?”
He proposed that exactly how a person treats a borrowed body of someone they admire, is how we should each treat our own.
“That might be the way that we eat, it might be our exercise routine, it might be the way that we tolerate bad relationships or bullying or stuff at work. And all of those are areas that are places that we can look for the symptoms. of what our internal self-worth really is a reflection of.”
Re-Writing the Story
“Nobody has the right to define whether or not you are worthy or have worth. That is 100%, it’s an internal wrestle. Go to God, pray, and ask for the revelation that you are worthy.”
Fundamentally having that locked in as a definitive non-negotiable will help is align with our purpose on earth.
“Take the steps towards making that a reality… and it’s not going to happen overnight. It’s about rebuilding a life, a journey that we’re all on.”
Jason ensured that it can be fun in the process, but most importantly, we hold the pen to be able to rewrite this story.
“Life is hard and we do face a lot of different experiences through bad relationships and bad home lives and bullying.”
These experiences can contaminate us but there is power to be able to bring it back.
“Our worth is defined by us, yet the opinions of others can lead us to believe that we’re not worthy over a long period of time, especially if it starts young.”
Action the Positive
The first thing that Jason was able to action was catch his negative thoughts in their path. He then put a positive idea into immediate action.
“If I had the thought to go to the gym, I would immediately book my membership. I wanted to get my motorbike license, so I just booked in the test that I needed to do. I got very good at just applying that straight away.”
Jason chose to act instead of procrastinate and as such formed habits that became a disciplined routine.
“Holding yourself accountable to the thing that you really know that you need to be doing, not because it’s easy, but actually because it is hard.”
Jason said it is so worthwhile to take the time and work on discipline, as it builds the muscle that exercises self-worth.
Check out part 1 and 2 of Jason Blyth‘s chat with Doug on Mornings below.