According to Jacob Hill from the Australian Christian Lobby, many people avoid tough conversations because they fear rejection. “We were made for community,” Jacob says. “So it makes sense that we have this innate aversion to being rejected.” Public speaking, often ranked higher than death in fear surveys, represents this same fear ostracisation. And in today’s climate, simply sharing your opinion can feel just as risky.

How Did We Get Here?

Jacob joined Doug on Table Talk explore how society has become more polarised over time. Jacob recalls hearing about political correctness even back in primary school. “People are too afraid to say what they actually think.” Jacob said.

Social media, they agree, intensified this. People now connect with niche communities across the world, but at the cost of broader, challenging conversations.

The Shift from News to Noise

Jacob believes the shift in news reporting facts to commentary fuels division. “We get linked in with people who believe what we believe. That reinforces our views. And those become facts to us.” Once our views become personal identity, disagreement feels like a personal attack.

Starting With Understanding

So how do we talk about difficult topics in a healthy way? Start with humility, Jacob says. “Instead of trying to convince someone, take the position of trying to understand them. You don’t have to agree, but seek to understand.”

He reminds us that not all truths are absolute. For example, he jokes, “Summer is better than winter. That’s an absolute truth for me!” But when dealing with fundamental beliefs, like faith or morality, approach others with love and respect.

Approaching Offence with Grace

What about when offence already exists? “You’ve got to come with love and humility,” Jacob says. “If you genuinely love people, you’ll approach them differently.”

He recalls meeting a politician he didn’t initially understand. “But when she explained that she genuinely wanted to help her community, that changed everything. I stopped seeing her as an adversary.”

It’s about shifting focus from someone’s actions to their motivation. That, he says, is the example Jesus gave on the cross.

Apologise for Approach, Not Always Belief

Sometimes, we unintentionally offend. Jacob believes a heartfelt apology can go a long way. “Not for your belief, but for your approach. People can tell when you think you’re better than them. Own it. Apologise.” That posture, one of grace, can change the entire conversation.

Find Common Ground

Doug uses the example of AFL to describe how even within the church, people can look different but play for the same team. “We might do things differently. But we serve the same God. Let’s find the 90% we agree on.”

Jacob applies this to wider conversations, too. “When we find shared motivations, like helping people, we’re not enemies anymore. We just have different ideas on how to do it.”

Love First, Truth Always

So how do we stay brave when it’s easier to stay silent? “Speak the truth in love,” Jacob says. “You can come from rightness or you can come from love. But if you come from self-righteousness, no one hears you.” Brave conversations are still possible. But they take love, humility, and the courage to listen.

Listen to the full conversation below.