Pastor Phil, from Kingdomcity Church, joined us once again to tackle another modern relationship challenge, dating app burnout.
What is Dating App Burnout?
Simply put, dating app burnout happens when you feel exhausted, frustrated, or overwhelmed by constantly swiping, matching, and messaging. “You’re stuck in a loop,” Pastor Phil explained. “You’re swiping, but not really connecting with anyone.”
It’s important that dating apps aren’t the main way you build relationships. Pastor Phil puts it clearly: “Make sure your dating app focus is not the whole thing. The online world is not your only world.”
Why Dating Apps Alone Can Burn You Out
Dating apps can feel like a game. Each swipe or match gives you a little dopamine hit. Before long, it feels like you’re chasing the next notification rather than meaningful connection.
“You can get stuck waiting for the perfect moment, perfect person, or perfect scenario,” Pastor Phil said. “But that perfect image in your head? It keeps changing.”
The truth is, the more options you see, the harder it becomes to choose. Phil referenced a study showing that too many choices actually make people less likely to commit. It’s called analysis paralysis and dating apps feed right into it.
How to Prevent Dating App Burnout
So, how do you keep dating apps in their place without letting them take over your life? Pastor Phil offered three practical tips:
1. Take a Break: Give yourself permission to step away. Refresh and refocus. Apps shouldn’t control your schedule. “If you’re exhausted, take a break,” he said.
2. Set Clear Boundaries: Decide when you’ll use the apps and when you won’t. “Make sure it’s part of your routine, not your whole life,” Phil advised. Turn off notifications, set time limits, and don’t let endless scrolling replace real-life experiences.
3. Be Clear On Your Goal: What are you actually looking for? “Identify your values,” Phil suggested. “Look for alignment in what’s important to you.”
For example, if faith, family, or honesty matter to you, make sure the people you connect with reflect those values. Don’t fall into the trap of endlessly swiping without purpose. “Set yourself a plan. Don’t chase perfection, follow through on your goal.”
Build Real-Life Relationships Too
Phil stressed one more thing, don’t forget the real world. Join a local club, play a sport, volunteer, or get involved in your community. “It’s in those natural environments you meet and connect with people,” Phil said. “The online world is just one part of the bigger picture.” Many people today are stepping away from apps because meeting people organically feels easier and more genuine.
Trust God in the Process
Lastly, Pastor Phil reminded us to lean on God throughout our relationship journey. “God says, ‘I know the plans I have for you… plans to bless you, to prosper you, to give you a future and a hope.’” Pray, trust Him, and remember—you’re not in this alone.
Want more relationship wisdom? Catch Pastor Phil every Sunday night at 7 p.m. on Relationship Revive!
Listen to the full conversation below.