Burnout is more common than you think. In fact, many people don’t even realise they’re heading toward burnout until they’ve already hit the wall. According to counsellor and corporate wellness coach Helen Kelder, burnout is often a silent creep, not a sudden crash.

“Sometimes you don’t know you’re in burnout until you’re well and truly across the line,” Helen explains. So how do we stop ourselves from getting there?

What Does Burnout Look Like?

Burnout isn’t just about feeling tired. Helen describes it like this: “You’re losing more energy throughout the day than you’re able to recoup. Whatever you’re doing is unsustainable.”

Whether it’s work, responsibilities at home, or constantly saying yes, burnout happens when your output exceeds your input for too long.

“You’re scraping the barrel. There’s not much left to give, if anything.”

Poor Boundaries = Burnout

One of the biggest culprits behind burnout? A lack of boundaries.

“We’re often taking on a lot more than we could or should. We’re essentially saying yes when we need to say no,” Helen says.

She adds, “You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.”

Without proper rest and time to reset, we override our limits, mentally and emotionally, until our brains and bodies slow down or stop functioning properly.

Forgetfulness, detachment, resentment, all of these can be signs your boundaries have broken down.

Are You Saying Yes for the Wrong Reasons?

Many of us say yes out of obligation, guilt, or fear. Helen warns that when your “yes” isn’t joyful, you’re likely on a dangerous path.

“If we’re saying yes out of obligation or guilt, it’s not a yes with love or energy or joy,” she says.

Even spiritually, we need to be wise about our yes.

“As Christians, we often think if we say yes to God, He’ll lead us. But sometimes, we also need to say no and recognise when it’s time to pull back.”

The Root Cause: Emotional Pressure

Is burnout always caused by poor boundaries?

Helen believes it is. “To understand burnout, you have to acknowledge the emotional pressure behind it. There’s always something pushing you past your limits.”

Whether it’s internal expectations or external demands, emotional pressure often drives our inability to say no.

The People-Pleasing Trap

Another fast track to burnout? People-pleasing.

“There’s a fear of displeasing others, but sometimes it also comes from the best intentions. You love people, you want to help, so you give and give,” Helen shares.

“But if you’re not replenishing yourself, you can’t keep giving.”

This need to be liked or accepted may even come from childhood conditioning. We learn to associate value with how much we give.

Yet, as Helen reminds us, “Even Jesus took time away to rest and pray.”

Jesus Took Breaks – So Should You

We often forget that the Gospels show only the highlight reel of Jesus’ life. There were days of walking, resting, and simply spending time with friends.

That downtime matters.

“If Jesus needed rest, we definitely need it,” Helen laughs. “We’re just humans over here.”

Is Faith Driving Us Too Hard?

For people of faith, burnout can also come from the pressure to serve.

“When service equals self-sacrifice all the time, we’ve got the equation wrong,” Helen explains. “Yes, service is important, but so is rest.”

She continues, “It’s okay to say no. It’s okay for others to step up and help.”

What About Parents?

A message came through during the conversation from a parent struggling to juggle work, kids, and self-care. Helen’s response was heartfelt.

“My heart goes out to any parent out there. It’s one of the most challenging phases of life,” she says.

The key, she suggests, is working as a team.

“Effective couples operate like a tag team. Both parents need to share responsibilities. It’s not just the stay-at-home parent’s role to carry the load.”

Final Thoughts: You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup

Burnout is preventable, but it requires awareness and intentional action. Set healthy boundaries. Say no when needed. Rest regularly, emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

As Helen puts it, “We need to recognise the motivations behind our giving. Are we doing it out of joy, or out of fear and obligation?”

Your health, your faith, and your relationships all benefit when you give from a place of fullness not depletion.

Listen to the full conversation below.