When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to think the problem is everything around you. But what if part of the problem is actually how you think? That’s the insight Natalie Nicholls, founder of PLECS Learning, shared in a recent conversation with Doug on Table Talk.
Stuck in Survival Mode
Natalie opened with a story about a mum named Sarah. She’s juggling three kids, a chaotic household, school struggles, and endless chores. Exhausted and frustrated, Sarah eventually gave up trying to change her situation.
“She told herself, ‘This is just my life. This is just my kids,’” Natalie said. But when Sarah asked a friend how she managed to stay afloat, the response hit deep: “What if the thing holding you down isn’t the world around you but how you’re looking at it?”
The Power of Perception
Natalie explained that it’s easy to fall into comparison or believe others have it easier. “We get buried in our own world and look at someone else thinking, ‘They’ve got it all together.’ But they probably don’t.”
Natalie encouraged listeners to stop assuming the problem is outside of them and instead take a look within. “If your thinking is part of the problem,” she said, “then the good news is it’s also part of the solution.”
The Trap of “Why”
Quoting a study by Dr. Tasha Eurich, Natalie shared a staggering insight: while 95% of people think they’re self-aware, only 10–15% actually are.
The reason? We ask the wrong questions. “People keep asking, ‘Why is this happening to me?’” Natalie said. “But ‘why’ questions keep us stuck. They trap us in frustration and helplessness.”
Ask “What” Instead of “Why”
To move forward, Natalie recommended swapping “why” questions with “what” questions. “Instead of asking, ‘Why is my life like this?’ ask, ‘What is actually happening?’ and ‘What options do I have?’”
This shift in language is powerful. It turns your thinking from emotional reaction to problem-solving action. “Don’t ask why you’re overwhelmed. Ask what you can do, how you can change, and who can help.”
Three Steps to Break the Cycle
Natalie shared a practical framework to apply this kind of thinking daily:
- Awareness
Ask: What’s going on right now? Are my thoughts fixed or growth-oriented? - Monitoring
Regularly check in. Are you still on track? Or are you slipping back into old patterns? - Reflection
Ask: Is this working for me? What adjustments can I make?
Natalie admitted she’s trying to get up earlier “I do the 5-4-3-2-1 countdown from Mel Robbins to get out of bed,” she laughed. “Then I reflect: Did that work today? Do I need to tweak something tomorrow?”
Reframe the Story
The episode ended with a powerful quote: “Yesterday I was clever and wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I’m changing myself.”
Natalie left listeners with one challenge: “You are not your thoughts. You are the thinker behind them. So choose your thoughts wisely.”
By changing your inner script, you can move from stuck to strong. From overwhelmed to intentional. From surviving to thriving.
Listen to the full conversation below.