Pastor Andrew “Hammo” Hamilton caught up with Leah and Dan recently, to talk about battling bitterness, envy and regret. Read his insights below.
I heard a story once about an old Cherokee chief and his grandson. It’s one of those simple parables that sticks with you long after you’ve heard it.
The chief sat his grandson down and said, “Son, there’s a fight going on inside of me. It’s a terrible fight between two wolves.” One wolf, he explained, was evil. Full of anger, envy, sorrow and regret. All the stuff that drags us down. The other wolf was good and full of joy, peace, love, hope.
Then he told his grandson, “The same fight is going on inside you. And inside every person.” Naturally, the grandson thought about it and asked the question we’re all wondering: “Grandad, which wolf wins?”
And the chief simply replied, “The one you feed.”
How does this relate to us?
It’s such a straightforward story, but the truth in it is undeniable. Every day, we face that same battle. It’s easy to recognise; in those moments when bitterness creeps in, when impatience or pride flares up, when envy, regret, or anger seem to take over. At the same time, there’s always an opportunity to choose peace, kindness, forgiveness, love.
But here’s the thing: the story usually ends there, leaving us with the impression that sheer willpower alone determines which wolf wins. And if I’m honest, if it had all been down to my own willpower, I’d probably be in a pretty bad way by now.
I’m 60, and I can tell you, I’ve been there. I’ve wrestled with both wolves more times than I can count. There have been seasons where unforgiveness, bitterness, and selfishness were winning far more often than I’d like to admit.
How do we win the battle?
But here’s where my story, and the Christian journey, is a little different. See, the Bible tells us that we’re not in this fight of battling bitterness, envy and regret alone. We’re called to become more like Christ, to put aside our old nature and take on His character. God doesn’t leave us to figure it out by ourselves. He gives us His Spirit to strengthen us, guide us, and help us grow.
And over the years, I’ve seen firsthand how that plays out. God has gently but surely shaped me into a better person. Not overnight, not through some magic formula, but through a steady process of surrender.
If you’re reading this and feeling that struggle inside you, the two wolves fighting it out, you’re not alone. Maybe there’s part of you that’s wrestling with unforgiveness or envy or regret, and you’d give anything to see that change.
Here’s the invitation I’ve discovered: God says, Call on Me. Ask Me for strength. Take one small step in the right direction. Let Me help you feed the right wolf.
It’s not about being perfect, or getting everything right on your own. It’s about starting simple. Just calling on Jesus, handing over your will, and asking Him to help you change.
Honestly? At 21, I wasn’t the nicest person. I had plenty of rough edges. But by God’s grace, I think I’m a bit kinder now. That’s not my work, it’s His. And it all started with a simple choice: Jesus, I need Your help. I can’t do this alone.
And maybe that’s where it starts for you too.
Listen to Hammo’s full message below.