Conflict is not just logical, it’s emotional. When we get emotional, it’s almost like we become another person. Pastor Phil said, “If we don’t understand how to deal with escalating conflicts, we can end up like two three-year-olds carrying on at each other.

A great relationship consists of two people who can feel safe being who they are. “When conflicts are out of control that is destroyed, and ultimately affects the sense of bondedness we have as a couple.”

Conflict often starts with hurtful comments. If you let yourself take offence you feel like you have the right to hurt them back. “The problem is when we become emotional, I disconnect from my sense of integrity. I have moved to another belief system that says I’m not responsible.”

If we find ourselves in this pattern how do we get out?

Admit you need help: Admit to God that you are struggling

Reach out for support: Lean on people in your community who are trustworthy and safe.

Listen to Pastor Phil’s full chat with Bec and Jeziel below.