Pastor Phil Ayres from Kingdomcity, joins Bec and Jeziel every fortnight to help couples build strong marriages. Last week he spoke about the importance of actively hearing your partner and giving them room to speak in heated conversations.


Our thoughts and words are deeply connected to who we are. So actively listening to your partner is the foundation of creating respect, security and love in your marriage. Cutting someone off and not hearing what they need to say shows that you don’t value them. Relationships that don’t allow one or both parties to speak are shallow and have very little capacity to grow. So how can we ensure that our partner knows that we are listening them? Practise reflective listening, reflect back to your spouse what they just said before you give a solution or a response.


Wife: I was frightened when you went too close to the curb and bus. I don’t like being in the car when you drive like that.

Husband: So what you’re saying is that it upsets you when I drive too close to the corners and that bus really freaked you out.

Wife: Yes, exactly that really scared me

Did you find Pastor Phil’s advice helpful? Let us know by texting or messaging us on socials. Listen to the full chat below!